The Original Proposal Plan

He originally alluded to some grand scheme surrounding his proposal. I had no idea what he had planned, and I was suspect at almost all times. A few days before the proposal, we were on our to see the musical Avenue Q. He was acting funny on the drive there, and it suddenly dawned on me that we had first met in the parking lot we would be parking in on our first date.

Was he nervous? Was he going to propose when we got there? On our way out? Sometime in between? I tried to walk slowly to give him the opportunity.

After the musical, as he drove us out of the parking lot, I had him stop around the spot we had parked our cars on our first date so I could kiss him. Whether he was proposing or not, I hadn’t kissed him on our first date, and I wanted to make up for that. I was a little bummed when we made it all the way out of the parking lot and nothing had happened.

It turns out he was going to propose that night. He wasn’t nervous, he was upset. Throughout the musical, one of the main characters is looking for his purpose. There is a scene where actors come out on each side of the stage each holding a letter of the word “purpose.” As he sings, they flip the letters around to say “propose.” The plan was for him to go onstage and drag me up with him (possibly with the insistence of his coworker I was sitting next to if I refused).

I would have been mortified. He knew this, but he also knew I would have secretly loved it. He was devastated that it didn’t get to happen. I go back and forth when trying to decide which proposal I’d prefer. Ultimately, itdoesn’t matter, but it’s fun to tease him.

He was able to coordinate this proposal because one of his employees was also the technical director of the musical.  All the details had been worked out, but the director had always been a little unsure about doing it. He received an email 3 hours before the musical that they weren’t comfortable doing it. He was devastated.

I asked why he didn’t just propose in the parking lot, and he said he was too upset that night. I don’t blame him. I would have been devastated too.

Engaged Without Gluten

He proposed! I knew it was coming at some point. I had no idea when. I knew he had talked to my dad and asked for his blessing. I still didn’t know when.

It was Wednesday evening before thanksgiving. My parents were scheduled to arrive in approximately 45 minutes. I was rushing around getting dinner ready and getting myself dressed because I had postponed showering until later in the day to get other things done first. I had just gotten dressed and finished fixing my hair, and I was standing in front of my jewelry table picking out what to wear (I sell jewelry so I have a LARGE selection.)

“Should I wear this necklace?” I asked.

“No, this one would look better,” he replied as he walked up behind me.

“Ok, what else?” I asked.

“Why don’t you wear this?” He asked as he reached his arm around so I could see the ring box.

I’m lucky I didn’t strangle him considering how quickly I swung around to wrap my arms around his neck. I kissed him before he had a chance to say the words, but then he said it, “Will you marry me?”

I’m not even sure what my response was at this point. It was somewhere along the lines of “Yes!” or “Of course!” or “Absolutely!”

I was so busy holding him and kissing him and being held by him and being kissed by him that it was probably 5 minutes before I even looked at the ring for a second time. It’s stunning! It’s simple, yet unique. It looks perfect on my finger. It’s exactly what I wanted with a little bit of personalization thrown in so that it is uniquely mine.

Now I get to plan a wedding. A 100% gluten-free wedding. I’m convinced it can be done even though we don’t live in a major metropolitan city. There are no dedicated gluten free bakeries here, and I will accept nothing less for my cake.

Did I mention we are currently planning on June 8, 2013? 194 days to go 😉

Traveling Home (Part 2)

My total trip was ten days. I was having an excellent time, and while I missed B dearly, I really wanted him to join me so he could meet some of my friends and join us for our family dinner which was scheduled for my second to last day which was a Saturday.

Late Thursday afternoon he finally sent me a text saying he was able to take Friday off work, and take the train to join me. He topped off my cats food and water, dropped the dogs off at my best friends house, and boarded the train early Friday morning.

I was incredibly busy Friday, but I was also filled with anticipation for his arrival. I was at my aunt and uncles home Friday evening when they invited me out for dinner. I informed them we would have to drive separately as we might not make it back in time for me to get my car and still make it to the train station in time. My uncle then informed me that B should meet him before my dad anyway, so we could all go together if we were running short on time. I should have known my dad’s brother would do this considering their competitiveness.

This ended up being the case–dinner went long, and the three of us went to the train station together. I sent B a text to give him a heads up, and of course he was fine with it. Of course the train was also delayed, so we would have had plenty of time to get my car.

As usual, B hadn’t consumed any gluten on the train because he wanted to be able to kiss me when he saw me.  Introductions went well, but we didn’t stay at my aunt and uncles long because we needed to get to where we were staying because Saturday was fully booked.

We stayed up for some wine with Amanda, and then headed to bed because I knew from experience her children would wake us up early–especially because we were taking them to Chuck E Cheeses in the morning to try their new GF pizza.

To be continued…

Traveling Home (Part 1)

Back in July, I took a week off work to make the ten hour drive to see my family and friends. B had recently moved in, and while he wasn’t able to get the time off work to join me, he was going to do his best to take the train and join me for part of the trip later in the week. 

I left my dogs/cat and house in his care and hit the road. I normally do all sorts of pre-planning so I know exactly where I will eat, and give meticulous instructions to anyone who wants to cook for me. I had been incredibly busy prior to leaving, and I honestly didn’t even know who I was staying with any of the days I was going to be gone, therefore I didn’t know where I would eat. 

I packed four sandwiches, a case of water, and a bunch of snacks. I normally stay with a friend who lives about seven hours away and complete my trip the next day, but she just happened to be moving to my final destination that same day.  I sent a text to a friend who lived slightly out of the way but was at about the halfway point the morning I left. Thankfully she responded quickly and informed me that I was more than welcome to stay there. 

Whew! At least I wouldn’t arrive at my final destination late at night due to no place to stay along my route. I hadn’t seen this particular friend in almost ten years. She had been through a cheating husband, a divorce, a marriage, and became a breast cancer survivor in that time. I had been diagnosed with Celiac Disease, graduated from college, and broke off an engagement. We had a lot of catching up to do despite our infrequent phone calls over the years. Then again, we were wearing the same shirt in different colors. 

We managed to find gluten free options at one of her two favorite restaurants in her tiny Wisconsin town. The best part was they had GF pasta and pizza with good practices to avoid cross contamination. We enjoyed dinner with her husband and two close friends, and stayed up late for some much needed girl talk. 

This was basically how the trip went. I was able to spend some quality time with friends I had rarely seen in years while trying out all kinds of new restaurants. My trips “back home” are usually rushed trips for holidays birthdays, weddings, etc. This one was proving to be exactly what I needed. 

To be continued…

I’m back!!!

I’ve been away for a while. A long while. Life has been a total roller coaster. One of those really good, fun rollercoasters that has moments of anxiety, but you still have a smile on your face for the entirety of it. I’ve been on the rollercoaster before. It was different though. I wasn’t smiling the whole time, and I was either flying through the twists and turns alone or I might as well have been.
I’ve heard so many people say you “just know” when you’ve met “the one.” Between those who said it with each new person they started dating, and those that would wind up going through a horrific divorce with “the one,” I was losing faith that it was even a real thing. I was often one of the former. I wanted so badly for it to happen that I thought I knew I had met “the one” many times in my life. So many times in fact that I think my friends stopped believing me.
This time truly is different. Even my friends tell me I’m different. So much had happened. In the last few months since I “announced” I was smitten that I have no idea where to start. I need an outlet. I need to gush and ooze my happiness all over everyone.
Part of the reason I stopped blogging was that I couldn’t figure out how to write about “dating without gluten” when the original purpose was to give advice whilst telling my stories about dating. For some reason, it seemed like I wash no longer dating because I wasn’t looking. I had also gotten really lucky in meeting someone who was more than happy to do everything he could to accommodate me.
It recently dawned one that I still have a lot to offer to the “dating without gluten” community including how to travel, how to handle non-gf children, etc.
So…I’m back!

I’m in Love

Don’t ask me how it happened. I fought it. I doubted it. I pushed him away. I didn’t see this coming at all.

B stayed at my house last Wednesday and Thursday after hanging out Monday and Tuesday nights. It was weird sleeping alone Friday night. My bed has never seemed so large before.

Saturday I woke up with a fever, sore throat, and every single thing in my body that could hurt did. I texted B to warn him assuming he wouldn’t want to hang out and risk getting sick. He came over anyway. I can’t imagine how horrid I looked. I felt so horrid that I didn’t care. He was more than happy to do anything and everything I needed to help nurse me back to health.

That was the day that I knew I loved him. As a member of the female gender, I’m well aware of the fact that the female should never say they love the male first.  The male must say those words first. He was so incredibly helpful and caring that I thought for sure the words were going to slip right through my lips anyway.

I was fairly certain he felt the same, and B doesn’t really seem to be the type to get scared and run, but I didn’t want to take any chances, so I waited. Monday night, I noticed an eyelash on his cheek, so I told him to make a wish. I felt like a silly little school girl as I secretly hoped he was wishing something about me loving him. I later noticed another eyelash on his cheek and I did the same thing.

Tuesday night (yesterday), I thought I was going to burst. Apparently I wasn’t hiding it well because at one point when we had been gazing into each others eyes for a ridiculous amount of time, he commented that it really looked like I had something to say. I admitted that I did, but it was something I needed to hear from him first.

“I love you,” he said as I melted right into his arms. “I love you too.”

We sat there holding each other, just enjoying the moment, for about an hour. I asked if one of his wishes had come true, and he said yes. And then he got up and made me gluten-free spaghetti because I was too sick and weak to get up and cook for myself. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Date #7…I’m kinda smitten

Remember that blog post where I said I normally get a fluttery feeling in my chest and I walk around all daydreamy for an hour after a first kiss? Well, it finally happened.

B came over yesterday to hang out. We were supposed to go to a bonfire at a friends house, but I had managed to somehow build my own bonfire. Long story short, I had this weird weed that grew out of a tree stump that grew to be at least 20 feet tall. My neighbors helped me chop it down last weekend, and my goal this weekend was to get the stump out of the ground so it wouldn’t grow again. After an hour of digging, I noticed a lot of carpenter ants, and I realized it was going to take forever. I decided to try to burn the stump rather than dig it out to try to kill the carpenter ants if they were living in it too.

I had a pretty good fire going by time B arrived, but after he helped me keep it going for a few hours, I realized we weren’t going to make it to my friends house. I grabbed a couple chairs out of my garage, and we sat and chatted in front of my tree stump bonfire…until 4am.

At that point, I had been thinking about inviting him to stay over for the last few hours. I felt bad that he had to drive over an hour to get home, and for some reason, I wasn’t nearly as unsure about him. Nothing specific happened that caused this change. Suddenly I wanted to stand close to him, and hold his hand, and kiss him for no reason.

The fear of getting hurt really settled in once I made this realization. I went so far as to ask him what his “dealbreakers” were in hopes that he would also ask me mine. (He did.) I wanted to cover my bases with all of the little details that could possibly cause this not to work.

Note: I wrote the above on Sunday, June 24th. I got distracted when B called me, and we talked for hours…as usual 😉

It was incredibly nice to sleep in his arms. We slept fully clothed, and he didn’t try anything. I’ve been wanting to take things slow, and even though I haven’t told him that, he’s been very respectful about it.

Waking up next to him felt incredibly right. We laid there and talked for about an hour, and it was at that time that I found myself just gazing into his eyes. There were times when we were just laying there looking at each other for minutes at a time without saying a word.

I don’t know what changed, and I’m not sure if it even matters. I’m happy.  Really happy. Unless he’s doing a really good job of faking it, we’re both at exactly the same place in what we’re looking for. I don’t doubt his sincerity in anything he says either. Part of me is somewhat scared of getting hurt, but it’s not so much that I’m afraid of him hurting me as it is that I’m afraid we just won’t work out.

I’m going to go ahead and enjoy the rest of my day with the goofy grin on my face that hasn’t left in a few days 😉

Date #4… Fiasco?

Last Friday, B had asked if I wanted to hang out Saturday because he had to drive up to the office for a few hours anyway. (He lives about an hour away, but he works in town.) I wasn’t sure what I would be doing at the time, but I said we could definitely hang out at some point.

His coworker had a sick kid, so he wound up staying home, but he said he still wanted to hang out. Around 5pm, I said I was going to hop in the shower , and I was available afterwards to hang out if he wanted to do something simple.  We agreed on him picking up a movie and some food, and I would cook. I told him he could pick anything for dinner, and I would let him know specifically what food to get to ensure it was gluten-free. After deciding on spaghetti, I told him to pick up some meat for the sauce, and I already had gluten-free noodles and spaghetti sauce. I told him to make sure it was fresh, unseasoned, unmarinated, “un-messed with” meat.

I’m not sure what caused the delay, but he ended up leaving his house a little after 7. I was already hungry at this point. An hour and a half later, I texted him to see what time he would be here, and he said he was at Redbox. Forty-five minutes later, he said he was just down the way at the grocery store, but they didn’t have what he normally gets. At this point I was starving, and I was starting to get really pissed off. I also couldn’t believe he was at the grocery store by my house. I even texted back that had I known he was going there, I would have given him directions elsewhere because I WILL NOT eat their meat. I told him to just leave and we would have it without meat in the sauce.

I was pacing back and forth in my dining room, because I was tired, cranky, and absolutely starving. If he hadn’t just drove over an hour to get here, I would have seriously considered telling him to skip it and go home. For some reason he clarified where he was at, and he was not at the grocery store near my house. I was relieved that I was able to tell him to just grab some ground beef, but I managed to find another reason to be upset—there was a Redbox in the grocery store he was at. Why hadn’t he just gone to that one?

He finally arrived around 9:30 or 9:45. I have a hard time being rude to people, so I covered up my attitude and just jumped into action making dinner the second he arrived. I really didn’t want to watch the movie considering we wouldn’t be able to start it until at least 10:30, but again, he had driven all the way up here.

Part of the reason I had asked him to come over was that I wanted to say something about how I was unsure about us. I didn’t want him getting too into me if I didn’t feel the same. I had no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to say it, but I wanted to say something.

Dinner and the movie went fine. I calmed down considerably after I got some food in me. I was slightly annoyed during the movie because he kept commenting on things during the movie. I think I was more annoyed with myself because I do that all the time, and I realized how incredibly annoying that is 😉

I never ended up saying anything to him. There was never a good opportunity, but honestly I chickened out. He gave me a kiss goodnight, and I actually sort of got some butterflies. I wasn’t sure what to think of that. He left around 2am, and I honestly would have kept chatting away with him because he is so easy to talk to, but I was exhausted, and he still needed to drive home.

I was kind of surprised he didn’t think I was a total bitch that night. I’m not proud of the way I acted even though it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’m sure some people would have acted in the same situation.

But here’s the kicker. When he was at my house a few days later, I asked him when his birthday was because I knew it was in June, and I was pretty sure it was in the next few days. I wasn’t sure I would be getting him a gift or anything, but I wanted to do something for him though I didn’t know what. His answer?… June 16^th. Last Saturday. The day I was cranky and rude.

My jaw dropped when I realized that was last Saturday. I kept apologizing, and he kept saying it was fine. He said he was really glad we had gotten to hang out, and that was enough of a gift. When I asked him why he didn’t say anything, he said he didn’t want to draw attention to it because he was having trouble dealing with the fact that he was 39.

We’re going to hang out today when he gets out of the office. I’m considering pulling one of my frozen cakes out of the freezer, sticking a candle in it and singing him happy birthday. I just need to decide if that will make it worse or better.

I’ll let you all know what I decide and how it goes.

Trusting Someone With Your Food

So the other day, I was at my second job. I was exhausted after a long day, and the last thing I wanted to do was go home and cook dinner when I knew it was probably at least 85 degrees in my house. I was texting with B, and I had mentioned how good Chipotle sounded because he had mentioned going there the night before.

We didn’t have plans that evening, but he asked if I’d like it for dinner. My response was: “Do you want to meet up there or would you be comfortable ordering for me if I give you instructions? You’ll have to sound super picky and watch them like a hawk but I think you could do it if you’re comfortable. I understand if you’re not. ”

His response: “Up to you…. It’s ok by me. The last thing I’d want to see you is sick.”

My (super long) response:  “You’d have to say the it’s a gluten free order, make sure they wash their hands and change their gloves and dont do anything else before making my food. I want a carnitas bowl with whichever rice is newer (it will be fuller), they should get a new serving spoon for each thing they dish up. I want pinto beans, sour cream, guacamole, and then they should grab new lettuce and mozzarella from below because they grab that with their hands. Just watch the rest of the process for any possibilities of cross contamination.  You can have any of the “bowls” since you’re bringing it to my house. The only thing that they have that contains gluten is the tortillas.”

His response: “Alright…I got this. I’ll probably leave here in 15-20 minutes.”

What?!?!?!? I thought for sure he’d get that super long text and be like “screw that!”

I’m pretty sure this was our 6th date. The night before he had come over to help me put together a new shelf for my kitchen. That night he was there to help me install some window AC units and watch me clean because I was having friends over the next day. Yes, I’m counting putting together a shelf and cleaning the house as dates. Technically it was the 5th and 6th times we had hung out, but I’m calling them our 5th and 6th dates because I can 😉

When he got to my house, he told me how amazing it was when everybody sprung into action when he said he had a gluten-free order. Apparently they had a very knowledgeable staff working because he said he didn’t have to give any additional instructions–they automatically did everything that was on my text.

Yesterday I said he was growing on me. He definitely impressed me with this. I need someone who is willing and capable of doing these things. I’m still so unsure if why I’m so unsure about him, but I guess I’ll figure it out.

Stay tuned for my next post which is about date #4… it’ll be a doozy.

He’s Growing on Me

For the first time tonight, I thought about B, and I wanted to see him. Usually, I just kind of want someone to hang out with or to talk to. Before, I really enjoyed his company, but I wasn’t feeling that pull towards him.

I’m not sure what changed either. We’ve hung out a few more times since my last post. I definitely need to write a few more posts to include details, but for tonight, I’m gonna focus on the evolution of this.

I’ve never had a relationship like this before. I once dated someone I had been friends with at work for years before we started dating. When we first met, I just didn’t see him that way. He wasn’t bad looking, but I wasn’t attracted to him at all at first. He took me out for dinner one night after work–something he had done multiple times before–and told me how he felt about me. Within a month of us dating, I was aware that he wasn’t super attractive by normal standards, but I was incredibly attracted to him.

Unfortunately, that relationship ended…badly…very badly. I was so mad at him at one point that I chased him out of the house screaming obscenities at him. Anyone who knows me well knows it takes a lot to get me mad, and even when I am mad, I usually don’t show it. I’m not proud of what I did, especially because I didn’t want to be known as “that” neighbor. Hopefully he’s not proud of using my credit card though. I guess we both made mistakes. 😉

I guess that relationship is the closest thing to this except I’m starting this out with the intention of dating, and hopefully it won’t end as badly if it ends. B is a really great guy, so my biggest worry is hurting him. Unless he’s covering up some pretty major flaws, I don’t know why I wouldn’t want to date him.

I guess time will tell.